routines over rigidity

How rhythm (not rules) keeps me nourished on vacation and at home.

Going into our summer vacation (a 12-day road trip up the California coast with my husband and almost four-year-old) I’ve been thinking a lot about my routines and non-negotiables. What do I want to hold onto because I know they help me feel my best? And what am I willing to let slip a bit? I mean, what’s a vacation without loosening the reins?

But actually... that doesn’t quite land. Because in my day-to-day life, I don’t feel like I’m restricting myself or following some rigid protocol. There are no reins to loosen—only experiences to be had and routines to flow through.

I like feeling amazing in my body. I love the rituals and rhythms that bring that main character energy into my life—the kind that helps me stay present with the people I love, think clearly, and feel vibrant in every sense of the word.

And I don’t want to lose that on vacation. I want it to travel with me.

So I’ve been reflecting on this idea of routine over rigidity—and why it matters so much more than we think.

My Thursday posts are usually for paying subscribers, but I love the concept of this post and wanted to make it available to everyone. I’ll be sharing more about our trip in the coming weeks for my paid community — what I packed, how I navigated 12 days away from home (and my routine), favorite spots, and more❤️

Routine ≠ Rigidity

Here’s what I’ve noticed—for myself and with so many clients:

Rigidity tends to come from a place of pressure and lack. It’s the version of a routine that only works under perfect conditions. It’s the “I have to do it this way or I’ve failed” mindset. The all-or-nothing loop.

Routine, when it actually serves you, is different. It’s supportive, not strict. It adapts to your day instead of dictating it.

It’s the reason I can wake up in a different hotel every few nights + dine out most meals on this trip and still feel grounded. Because I know what matters most, and I don’t need it to look one way to be effective.

Note: I drafted this on the flight over — but as I’m editing it in our Santa Monica hotel room after a gluten-filled dinner at Felix the night before, a toddler workout swap so Ravi and I could both move this morning, and an Erewhon collard wrap for lunch, I really am practicing what I preach. No regrets. Just presence and systems to support me.

The question I always come back to: How can I make this easier to repeat and feel effortless—not harder to get right?

That’s the energy we want from a routine. Not perfection, but rhythm.

Why Your Brain Loves Routine

We make over 35,000 decisions a day.

That’s not just what to eat or when to work out—it’s also fielding snack requests, remembering sunscreen, navigating meltdowns, replying to texts, planning dinner, managing work projects…

It’s an exhausting load for your nervous system. And when your brain is overloaded, it craves one thing: predictability.

That’s where thoughtful routines come in. They remove some of that weight. They streamline your day, soothe the mental chatter, and create safety through structure. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel every morning. Your body and brain already know what to expect.

Even better? Repetition builds momentum.

The more familiar your rhythm, the less willpower it takes to show up for it because you removed the friction.

And no, that doesn’t mean doing the exact same thing every day. It just means having a default mode you can return to. One that holds you steady—especially when everything else feels like a lot.

One thing for me is is making sure I get up early enough to brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, and drink my water before Leena’s up too. Her sleep schedule as been unpredictable lately and my usual morning routine that included a workout or time to leisurely drink my coffee is no longer guaranteed.

There’s also something called implementation intentions. It’s not enough to say you want to do something. You need a plan for when and where it will happen.

• Instead of “I want to move more,” → “When I get back from drop-off, I’ll do 10 minutes of strength.”

• Instead of “I’ll drink more water,” → “Every time I make coffee, I’ll drink a full glass of water first.”

• Instead of “I’ll take my magnesium,” → “I keep it next to my toothbrush and take it before bed.”

That one little shift? It dramatically increases follow-through. You’re not relying on motivation—you’re just plugging habits into a structure your brain can work with.

The routines that work best? They’re simple. Repeatable. Flexible.

That’s what I’m bringing with me into this trip—and honestly, what I lean on every day at home too.

What It Looks Like IRL

Here’s what that means in my own life—especially right now, on the brink of a family vacation.

I’m not packing a supplement organizer the size of a shoebox. I’m not bringing my full kitchen with me. But I am bringing a few anchoring habits that I know make everything else feel smoother:

• Morning movement: One day might be a 3 mile walk with Ravi and Leena along the boardwalk to get coffee. Another morning I may pass Leena off to hit the hotel gym for my 10/3/30 treadmill workout and some weights. Or, I may only do a quick Sculpt Society booty class in the hotel room. It doesn’t have to be long—it just has to happen.

• Digestive rhythm: I always travel with my digestive enzymes and magnesium citrate to keep things moving, especially as we adapt to the time change. But also slowing down enough to chew and honoring my huger cues vs. eating to the point of overfullness. And? Ensuring a 12-14 hour fast between dinner and breakfast. Your digestion needs it when traveling.

• Protein-forward meals: I’m not tracking anything, but I’m always scanning menus for protein forward options and make sure breakfast is loaded to set me up for the day. I also like to keep breakfast lower carb to keep my body in a fat burn state longer and then enjoy them for lunch/dinner instead.

These are things I do at home too—but vacation reminds me: the real magic is that they work anywhere because they’re not rules. They’re supportive. They’re flexible. And they let me actually enjoy myself more because I feel good.

Upgrading the Everyday

I know many of you reading this already feel pretty good. You’re not looking for a total overhaul—you just want to refine. To feel a little clearer, a little more anchored, a little more you.

So here’s what I’d offer: build a few flexible routines that feel like second nature. Not because you “have to”—but because they feel so damn good that you don’t want to skip them.

If you’re already doing some things well, here’s how to refine—so your routines actually make your life easier:

Pick one morning anchor

This is your energetic green light—the thing that tells your body, we’re on today.

A few examples:

• Waking 10 minutes earlier to brush your teeth and poop in silence.

• Trace minerals in 20 ounces water + supplements before your coffee.

• Journaling your day instead of reaching for your phone and scrolling in bed upon waking.

• Prepping your smoothie ingredients the night before to easily blend and go.

Create a mini travel or “chaos” kit

Not just for vacations—this works on busy weekdays too. I keep all of these in my bag just in case:

• Digestive enzymes, electrolyte & green tea packets

• Almond butter packs, beef sticks, or a protein bar

Choose a default meal formula

This makes “what’s for dinner?” a 30-second thought instead of a 30-minute spiral:

• Always start with a protein, add a cooked veg (whatever’s easy), and a bit of fat. Think: ground beef + zucchini + avocado + cassava tortillas with hot sauce and cilantro

• Theme nights also help: Monday = stir fry, Wednesday = slow cooker, Friday = something fun (gluten-free pizza, tacos, etc.)

This also works for breakfast and lunches.

For me, lunch is almost always a salad with leftover protein. It’s brainless and fuels me.

Post workout? It’s a Greek yogurt bowl with berries and ground flax meal.

Pre-drop off if I’m feeling hungry? It’s 2-3 hrs boiled eggs to grab on the way out the door.

Build your habits onto what’s already happening

This is the implementation intention magic:

• “After I brush my teeth at night, I take my magnesium and do legs up the wall.”

• “While my coffee brews, I take my supplement stack.”

• “After school drop-off, I move for 10 minutes outside.”

When It All Goes Off Track (Because It Will)

Let’s say your day starts with a toddler meltdown, a last-minute client call, and no time for your usual breakfast or walk. That’s when your flexible routine really proves its value.

Instead of tossing the whole day:

• You stir collagen into your coffee and grab a protein bar or 3 hard boiled eggs as you walk to your laptop.

• You do 3 deep breaths before your Zoom meeting.

• You skip the workout but stretch (or for me do dancing arms) while your kid eats lunch.

• You throw Applegate chicken nuggets on top of arugula with a side of Jesse & Ben’s sweet potato fries and call it dinner.

Nothing is lost. You stayed in rhythm—just a looser version. And that’s the point. These routines aren’t about checking boxes. They’re about staying in motion and staying connected.

Give yourself permission to flex. That’s the real uplevel.

Your Rhythm Is Your Resilience

The more I lean into this, the more I realize: routine isn’t about restriction—it’s about capacity. It lets you handle more. It clears space for the good stuff.

When your rhythms are dialed in—not rigid, but truly supportive—you feel it.

In your energy. In your digestion. In your sleep. In how present you are with your people. In how well you can pivot when things don’t go as planned (because let’s be real, they never do).

And that’s the version of me I want on vacation. The one who feels good in her body and present in her life. Not perfect. Not hyper-disciplined. Just nourished, steady, and open to experience.